Saturday, May 09, 2009


Wow, it's been so long since I posted. Mostly because the latter half of this semester has been trying at best. There have been awful bits. There have been beautiful bits. Mostly there have been bits and bits and bits; so many that I had, for a little while there, difficulty remembering myself, remembering to eat, remembering to do anything, sometimes, but sit in a dark room and breathe.

But this is okay. It has been a difficult year, to say the least. It has been a year in which I've come to know that raw pocket of living that exists between the life you think you have and the life you actually have. It has been a confusing year, a heartwrenching year, a successful year and a year full of loss and sadness. It's been a year in which I begin to learn what it is to be unsafe. In a good way, I mean.

I know how this sounds. And I'm sorry for the obscurity. For the vague and vaguely new-life-sounding abstractions. I'll be able to fill you in good and hard soon. So soon. Distance and perspective. These things are important.

But no matter what, it's been my first year of grad school (2nd run), and now it's finished. And I'm going to clean my house and treat myself to a meal I can't afford. And then, so soon, I'll let you know how it all went.