Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Motherfucking Thanksgiving

In keeping with the tradition of my last post, there's a little unnecessary swearing to brighten your holidays. Cock, cock, jism, Grandma! (I'm looking at you PJD.)

Sorry about the Tourette's. I've pretty much spent the last 72 straight hours copyediting a new beer magazine (BeerAdvocate! The first of its kind!) under heavy deadline and penalty of death. Time to let off a little steam and drink my absent landlord's whiskey.

Let me tell you about copyediting. Copyediting is cool. It's kind of like solving a jillion little puzzles, plus, you get to learn all the things about the English language you should have been taught at some point, but weren't, because this is America, goddammit, and only pinkos and faggots learn proper hyphenation and comma (commie!) usage.

But 72 hours straight of it, and you end up with a sentence like this:

"Weizenbock--a big Bold beer of heading promisely,."

So, I'm taking a 2:30 am whiskey and water break. The beer porn I'm editing gave me such a hankering for Oatmeal Stout earlier that I wandered around in the cold, holiday rain (ah, just like that awesome Dan Fogelberg song about bumping into an old lover at the grocery store. Lover is such a 70s word, don't you think? It reminds me of hairy armpits and cocaine.) searching for something to quench my powerful thirst, alas, to no avail. Instead, I bought the makings for oatmeal cookies, which I will create tomorrow after I put this project to bed. Perhaps I will eat them while drinking a Red Stripe. That's about as close as I can get to Oatmeal Stout out here in Jersey City.

I don't even really like beer (in the sense that I appreciate it more for the happy, slutty feeling it gives me, than for the actual taste), but I'm sold on this magazine. It's made me crave something I never really think about. If you're even slightly interested in beer, you'll enjoy BeerAdvocate. Just don't come crying to me about split infinitives and whatnot, you hippies.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Eat It, Bitches

Santorum's out, abortion is in, and we have our first female speaker of the House! Gays are still disfavored, but that's what you get from a country full of ID enthusiasts. Really, I expected a lot less.

I feel more hope today for our nation than I've felt for years. For the first time in a long time it's a hopeful thing to be an American.

(How about you and me make a Cuban sandwich, Menendez?)

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Cuteness

I mean, what can you say?