Friday, October 17, 2008

Here Then Gone


CT was here for a whole week and I forgot to take pictures. Mostly, we got up late, laid around, ate food (some good, some bad) and watched movies. It snowed here for two days over the weekend, which smooshed us into a cozy huddle that we never quite recovered from, even when the snow melted and the sun came out and it was 65 degrees in the valley where I live. There is something about snow on mountains that demands hot chocolate and fresh croissants. Luckily, both are nearby. Real, dark hot chocolate mere blocks from my house. It's going to be a lovely winter.

The thing about visits from boyfriends is that it's not always possible to enjoy them fully when they're happening. There's always anxiety about having fun and making the most of your time. This eventually turns to anxiety about the impending departure. Then there was all the work hanging over my head the whole week. I think, though, that just maybe we pulled off a couple of perfect moments right there in the middle.

He left yesterday and I cried and, still crying, sat down to finish a very difficult paper--the first official academic paper of my doctoral career and that made me cry harder. It sounds pathetic but it was closer to hilarious, me sitting there in sweat pants, red and wet in the face, leaning over my post-it covered copy of Jean Genet's Querelle to write about anal sex and blow-jobs, which yes, made me miss CT and cry some more. Hilariously pathetic perhaps.

Later, after I had collected myself and texted CT the location of the smoking lounges in the Cincy airport, I saw his shoes sitting in the bedroom, cuddled up with my things. He calls them his work shoes but really they are just his shoes. I'm not sure what he flew home in. I should probably send them back soon, but I like having them here. I've put them in the hallway with my own shoes. They look like they're waiting for him, like any minute he'll walk through the door, home from wherever he's been.

5 Comments:

Blogger Mrs. G. said...

I hope he comes home to his shoes soon. Wonderful post.

6:12 PM  
Blogger junkbox fiction said...

very nice. thanks.

9:04 PM  
Anonymous Andi said...

Just found you through Five Star Friday, and I can totally relate to this post! I also live in Salt Lake and my boyfriend does not (he's in Toronto). We have been doing the long distance thing for a few years now and have worked it out to the point that it is tolerable. Our time apart will be ending in the next few months and quite frankly, I'm not sure what I will do when he's around more often! Good luck! I know it sucks most of the time, but when you're together it's so worth it!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Screwsan said...

Thanks everybody for the comments! I'm embarrassed to say I haven't made it to your blogs yet but I will. I just got my grocery shopping done today for the first time in a month. Blog reading will come in time. O grad school.

Andi, that sounds hard, but I'm glad it's tolerable. If you have any pointers for making the LD thing (not to be confused with the LDS thing) work, I'm all ears.

9:59 PM  
Anonymous Ideals for Living said...

Oh it starts with shoes under the bed... it's what's known in military parlance as a "beach head".

4:54 AM  

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