Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Back in the Matrix

The new job is going well. Here I am showcasing three of the many wonderful perks: the iMac digicam and Photo Booth program, free bottled bevs and company-wide shared iTunes.

The people are great and the work is interesting and creative and fun. For instance, last week I researched and wrote a 1500-word essay about shape-shifters that will be published in an 11th grade educational workbook. Something I didn't know before last week: a few historians theorize that werewolf and vampire legends arose as explanations for serial and mass murders in the olden days. Clearly this is information that children in public schools need to know and I'm glad to provide it for them.

In other news, the stork has been busy this summer. Has everyone I know given birth in the last two months? Yes. Stay tuned for a baby round-up. No babies can escape the incredible reach of my magical lariat!

And last, but certainly not least, a summer crime update update: Jill--she of the improbable-but-accurate kinship association, common-law-step-sister-in-law (I'm hers too)--told me last night that someone she knows was attacked for sport a block from my house last week and nearly beaten to death. Attackers put him in intensive care, smashed his skull and face and didn't take his wallet. He's out of the ICU now, but his jaw is wired shut and he never wants to leave his house again.

Dear reader, I have lived in St. Louis and Jersey City and the Lower East Side of Manhattan. I've traveled all over the world, including some of the most crime-ridden parts of Brazil, Argentina, Vietnam and Thailand. I've never felt as unsafe as I feel in Iowa City right now. Today, after work, I'm going to buy some pepper spray. Seriously. This is fucking ridiculous. Also, Iowa City police force: yeah, um, I know arresting 19 year-olds downtown for drunk walking is like, really profitable, but people are being brutalized in my neighborhood. Is it really so much to ask for JUST ONE BEAT COP TO PATROL MY EFFING STREET BEFORE SOMEONE GETS MURDERED? Thank you. (and p.s. yes, I realize I'm turning my voice to the heavens here, but a friend and I are planning to write a letter to the editor this week about the recent crime wave and the utter lack of interest on the part of the city to protect its citizens because everyone is too busy playing in loco parentis to the college students. Also, boo college students!)


Blogger Daydreamcomics said...

Dear Screwsan

Stay safe, sweetheart!!! If you Didn't know everyone's Favorite mischief makers have arrived in comic strip form. check out my blog
hope you are well

9:45 AM  

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